BTW, if you guys want you can read some stuff I wrote: The Pandemonium
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[Feedback] The Pandemonium
It's an excellent piece. Nice indeed.
Thanks, though I am not really a pro writer in any capacity.
The tenses threw me off. It was a concoction of various past and present tenses. Think it would be much more streamlined, if it were written in the present continuous.
That's because part of the story takes place in the past. But if the language is ambiguous in other places then let me know which parts and I might fix it if necessary.
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If it was a stylistic choice, then it is fine, but a little difficult to read
Well, I can't say that I can help it lol. Generally, I think of key points in the story beforehand and I try to connect them by writing spontaneously, making a few changes here and there to fit the narrative. So a lot of it can become mindless drivel.
oh lol, it was neither mindless nor drivel
its actually very vivid violence
its actually very vivid violence
I think this is a good place if you have any questions about the stuff I wrote.
The first two I basically wrote spontaneously. You could say they wrote themselves. I just wrote as it came to my mind and things just unfolded from there. Both written for /r/writingprompts.
The last one took a bit of planning. I had already planned on adding some violent ends. I was also planning on adding more fantastical and cosmic horror elements by having the character enter the realm of the god Tlaxaklotl (a name derived from meso-american stylization, specifically similar to Quetzalcoatl) which would be a nightmarish landscape with the god itself being an amorphous, tentacled black blob covering most of the sky, reminiscent of some Lovecraftian deity. But putting down all of that to words was becoming tedious so I cut it short and kept it simple. Another motivation for simplifying the story was that, as a powerful god, Tlaxaklotl doesn't really care much about mortal beings and prefers that have all of his business carried out by his priests who act as his agent.
I created a fully fantastical setting because writing something based in reality would require me to adhere to existing tropes that I did not feel confident tackling. Thus, almost all names are fictional names I thought up.
The first two I basically wrote spontaneously. You could say they wrote themselves. I just wrote as it came to my mind and things just unfolded from there. Both written for /r/writingprompts.
The last one took a bit of planning. I had already planned on adding some violent ends. I was also planning on adding more fantastical and cosmic horror elements by having the character enter the realm of the god Tlaxaklotl (a name derived from meso-american stylization, specifically similar to Quetzalcoatl) which would be a nightmarish landscape with the god itself being an amorphous, tentacled black blob covering most of the sky, reminiscent of some Lovecraftian deity. But putting down all of that to words was becoming tedious so I cut it short and kept it simple. Another motivation for simplifying the story was that, as a powerful god, Tlaxaklotl doesn't really care much about mortal beings and prefers that have all of his business carried out by his priests who act as his agent.
I created a fully fantastical setting because writing something based in reality would require me to adhere to existing tropes that I did not feel confident tackling. Thus, almost all names are fictional names I thought up.
Oh... felt mesoamerican though, but thought the gods and names were real
It is very similar to some of the more surreal stuff that Moorcock writes
It is very similar to some of the more surreal stuff that Moorcock writes
Any good works by Moorcock?
I like surrealism, it taught me that art does not need to have meaning. Many people don't understand surrealist works but for me it's actually very simple, it means what you think it means. This is why I like David Lynch's movies or experimental music.
The problem with using real gods names is that real gods have some already established lore which you are required to be familiar with before writing otherwise it would conflict with lore or people's beliefs. Creating a fictional god means I control the lore and I can reference it in the story anyway I want without stepping on anyone's toes.
I like surrealism, it taught me that art does not need to have meaning. Many people don't understand surrealist works but for me it's actually very simple, it means what you think it means. This is why I like David Lynch's movies or experimental music.
The problem with using real gods names is that real gods have some already established lore which you are required to be familiar with before writing otherwise it would conflict with lore or people's beliefs. Creating a fictional god means I control the lore and I can reference it in the story anyway I want without stepping on anyone's toes.
Well... his works are expansive
There is the Eternal Champion sequence is 16 massive volumes
the books I would recommend, with stories similar to what you have written are
Von Bek
A Nomad of the Time Streams
Earl Aubec
and especially, Corum: The Coming of Chaos
There is the Eternal Champion sequence is 16 massive volumes
the books I would recommend, with stories similar to what you have written are
Von Bek
A Nomad of the Time Streams
Earl Aubec
and especially, Corum: The Coming of Chaos