How's your social life/Help with social life.

Hi all,

As you know that geeks are usually stereotyped into guys with low self-esteem, awkward social presence, who dwell in their dungeon-esque basements and type away on their computers. Though a little far fetched, it is actually true (to one extent) for many of us (me included). Some of us might find it difficult to adjust with non-geeks or find it hard to communicate. Therefore, please share your experiences and how do you cope with it, so as to help those who need some guidance.

First thing to do is to get rid of Facebook and Twitter, then life will become normal.

Acceptance is the keyword.

Accept urself. U r going through a transformation. And you are qustioning this. If its right or wrong. Accept urself.

Voila all these dilemma would be gone.

G

Just try to talk with more ppl around you with humor sense, you will be called social.
But the be-yourself philosophy ppl advice ,confuses me.

First & foremost do not talk to non-geeks pertaining "Technology"! (ah, You'll be fired back :mrgreen:

)

Try to be humble, and be jovial with good sense of humour.

My sense of humor is not well accepted. I've tried to be myself, has not helped much. I can talk for hours on tech, rock music, guitars, etc. Also, if I do not show my tech side, someone else gets recognized as a tech guy and not me (who is more deserving).

PS: Define good sense of humor.

If you can tolerate "House", you can tolerate me.

Never seen 'House'. I connect more with 'Dexter'.

Then you don't have any sense of humor and you smile once in two years.

Lets say I have a different sense of humor. Not the kind people appreciate.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
Lets say I have a different sense of humor. Not the kind people appreciate.

Hmmm.. Like what?

MegaMind said:
Hmmm.. Like what?

Arrow in the knee and such.

You'd get the worst advice in a technology forum. Get some help from a psychologist/therapist. It's not "1, 2, 3..BAM! I'm now smart as hell!"

As for the sense of humor, I'm not sure what you're talking about. Either they don't find it funny or you put forward geeky jokes(?). Just talk about daily life, add some humor in-between.

Like I said, you'd get the worst advice from us. Get a therapist. I'm actually serious about this, you got a whole life ahead.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
Lets say I have a different sense of humor. Not the kind people appreciate.

Also depends on your expression while & after your joke..

Neuron said:
Arrow in the knee and such.

Yup...memes. I love memes. But, I know that anyone who has not played Skyrim will not get it.

I am asking in this forum to see if there is anyone else who is facing similar circumstances and how they are dealing with it. I don't think I have time for a therapist.

PS: Never been to a therapist, so don't know what to expect.

PPS: Anyone know a therapist in Pune?

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
Lets say I have a different sense of humor. Not the kind people appreciate.

Same here.

Happens with me too. Usually I am the only one who laughs at my jokes. If at all others do, there's usually a 8 second lag. By that time it's too late.

Maybe you should attend a youth hostel trek. Atleast 7 days. At a place where mobile, internet is not reachable (or dont carry your mobile).

Split personality comes in use here.

"When in rome, do as the romans do"

Mingle with a group. At first don't talk. Laugh when everyone is laughing, talk only when asked...mostly observe how everyone is reacting. Body language, speaking language, attitude to different things. etc.
Then try opening up slowly. Start a topic or bring some chips some-day...literally force people to eat...etc you would be good.

Basically you are going to act like what you are not (I can't say what you are and what u are not... u decide) Everyone happy including you.

AT NO CONDITION, I REPEAT, AT NO CONDITION, show that you know better and more than your peer group. You know , you know the right thing, right procedure but your friends are there to goof-off not for a how to session. Open your mouth only when people ask your opinion.

There, secret revealed.

My social life is similar to my virtual life.Due to my rebellious nature I admit I went through many problematic situations.I know many guys over here too hates me.same is in real life too.If I don’t like anything I will never accept it until it changes.For doing that I had made many enemies beaten many people.Yep sometimes i also got whacked but only few times ratio is say 5:2.I never felt sorry for the people i beaten.It gives me a great pleasure to make people...Er no i am not psychic. I only do that for people whom i find too much arrogant for stupid reasons.

What social life ?

rhitwick said:
Split personality comes in use here.

"When in rome, do as the romans do"

Mingle with a group. At first don't talk. Laugh when everyone is laughing, talk only when asked...mostly observe how everyone is reacting. Body language, speaking language, attitude to different things. etc.
Then try opening up slowly. Start a topic or bring some chips some-day...literally force people to eat...etc you would be good.

Basically you are going to act like what you are not (I can't say what you are and what u are not... u decide) Everyone happy including you.

AT NO CONDITION, I REPEAT, AT NO CONDITION, show that you know better and more than your peer group. You know , you know the right thing, right procedure but your friends are there to goof-off not for a how to session. Open your mouth only when people ask your opinion.

There, secret revealed.

Hmmm...like Dexter Morgan. Pretend.

I tried hiding my knowledge, only to let someone else be labeled as the tech guy and not me, despite of his inferior skills. Then again, most of my friends/peers speak of bollywood and stuff, not something I dig or know anything special about. Actually, if I just stand quietly in the group, in sometime, I don't understand what it going on, everything seems incoherent.

Faun said:
What social life ?

You kidding, right?

a_medico said:
Happens with me too. Usually I am the only one who laughs at my jokes. If at all others do, there's usually a 8 second lag. By that time it's too late.

Maybe you should attend a youth hostel trek. Atleast 7 days. At a place where mobile, internet is not reachable (or dont carry your mobile).

Yeah, this had actually worked once, when I went Goa (reluctantly) on a college trip. So, no gaming for me for about 15 days. I had actually opened up pretty well and was comfortable talking to girls.

^^^ As I said, I am the only one who laughs at my jokes. But glad it worked for you. You should do it more often in that case.

Good thing we have a_medic in here ,chill up baba he'll fix you.

Get up early in the morning
and pray to God,say it LOUDLY
GOD,grant me the serenity
To accept the things,
I can not change.
Courage to change the things,
I can,
And wisdom,
To know the difference.

Trust me,it helps!!

red dragon said:
Get up early in the morning
and pray to God,say it LOUDLY
GOD,grant me the serenity
To accept the things,
I can not change.
Courage to change the things,
I can,
And wisdom,
To know the difference.

Trust me,it helps!!

Like I said..

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
I had actually opened up pretty well and was comfortable talking to girls.

Gist of this thread :lol:

Makes friends with the people of your aptitude. Ignore morons. Simple actually.
Before I joined TDF, I used to felt like a sad lonely and loser soul everywhere. But after that I have hell lot of friends! Granted most of them are virtual. But hey, most I have talked and met personally too!

And virtual good friends are better then real like moron friends!!

PS: Note to my real friends (if any of them are reading this): I didn't said all my real friends lie in that category! Discretion advised!

But, apparently, despite being employed in the IT sector, no particularly smart individuals around me.

Charan said:
First thing to do is to get rid of Facebook and Twitter, then life will become normal.

Facebook doesn't interest me any more, hardly go on twitter.

Either game or read novels these days.

I am not a techy guy. I know general gadgets related stuff. Off lately i have become very low in life. I have just started working in advertising, having no experience in this field, i am working as an intern. Don't get paid anything other than travelling expenses.

I also do not get time as i travel 2.5hours either way to work. Although i love working, have a superb work environment. But the lack of time and money is making me mad.

I had a very nice muscular body, which i have lost due to lack of sleep and almost nil time for gym. (I love pumping iron).

Also i get no time to game. I am playing nfs run since 3 months now. (Thank god i played all good titles before the job).

I am losing interest in everything now. I have a good sense of humour. But i dont open up easy. I although love my job, i do not feel interested in hanging around my office mates. i get annoyed by them.

What has happened to me?

I think the best advice on this thread is rhitwik's

Split personality comes in use here.

"When in rome, do as the romans do"

Mingle with a group. At first don't talk. Laugh when everyone is laughing, talk only when asked...mostly observe how everyone is reacting. Body language, speaking language, attitude to different things. etc.
Then try opening up slowly. Start a topic or bring some chips some-day...literally force people to eat...etc you would be good.

Basically you are going to act like what you are not (I can't say what you are and what u are not... u decide) Everyone happy including you.

AT NO CONDITION, I REPEAT, AT NO CONDITION, show that you know better and more than your peer group. You know , you know the right thing, right procedure but your friends are there to goof-off not for a how to session. Open your mouth only when people ask your opinion.

There, secret revealed.

absolutely true...just try to understand what type of people r around u and talk to them what they understand....If u go on talking about rooting an android and ICS with non-geeks they will certainly avoid u.
What I generally do is randomly change the topic if it doesnt suits my friend .... at least 1 topic will fit in...but then u should at least have some knowledge about everything

G

This.

rhitwick said:
Split personality comes in use here.

"When in rome, do as the romans do"

Mingle with a group. At first don't talk. Laugh when everyone is laughing, talk only when asked...mostly observe how everyone is reacting. Body language, speaking language, attitude to different things. etc.
Then try opening up slowly. Start a topic or bring some chips some-day...literally force people to eat...etc you would be good.

Basically you are going to act like what you are not (I can't say what you are and what u are not... u decide) Everyone happy including you.

AT NO CONDITION, I REPEAT, AT NO CONDITION, show that you know better and more than your peer group. You know , you know the right thing, right procedure but your friends are there to goof-off not for a how to session. Open your mouth only when people ask your opinion.

There, secret revealed.

--
Feel lucky.Currently in my workplace i don't have a team.So be happy with what you have.Never get low.Remember money is not everything.

pratzgh1 said:
I am not a techy guy. I know general gadgets related stuff. Off lately i have become very low in life. I have just started working in advertising, having no experience in this field, i am working as an intern. Don't get paid anything other than travelling expenses.

I also do not get time as i travel 2.5hours either way to work. Although i love working, have a superb work environment. But the lack of time and money is making me mad.

I had a very nice muscular body, which i have lost due to lack of sleep and almost nil time for gym. (I love pumping iron).

Also i get no time to game. I am playing nfs run since 3 months now. (Thank god i played all good titles before the job).

I am losing interest in everything now. I have a good sense of humour. But i dont open up easy. I although love my job, i do not feel interested in hanging around my office mates. i get annoyed by them.

What has happened to me?

U

What life .

gopi_vbboy said:
Feel lucky.Currently in my workplace i don't have a team.So be happy with what you have.Never get low.Remember money is not everything.

I like my job bro. And hope i get money. Because, nothing in this world makes me happy than a wallet filled with green and pink notes

. (As of now, i just wish of having this and that, cannot afford it

)

Lets hope, life's kachha road soon meets a Highway.

^^ A bad phase, which happens to everyone in life. Nothing lasts forever. Key is to hang in there and not get frustrated. And there will definitely be something positive out of it which will help you later in your life and you will thank it.

Thanks bro.. I will stick around. Well, just yesterday i was frustrated thinking all this, as when i was about to leave at 7pm, i was given some research work that took almost 3 hours. While returning home was filled with this frustration as i had a 2.5 hours journey to do and to top it all a guy stepped on my leg, started an argument when i pulled my leg from underneath his leg (which made him kind of loose balance).

Well, he then pushed me and i ended up with a vicious punch on his face. Result: He was scared to hell and trembled up to apologize. i too apologized, got off the train and spent whole time ever since regretting my behavior. Also have swollen knuckles (Imagining what must he be going through). All my life i have never hit any one. I have threatened people during arguments but this was way too much.

I hope i will never do such thing again and let this frustration dwell ever again.

@pratzgh1: What you did by punching him was wrong. But what you did by sharing that and apologizing, was a sign of good behavior. And you guessed it right about it being the anger due to frustration.

Anger makes us do stupid things. Key is to identify it before you do damage that can't be undone. I hope for the best for you!

Thanks a lot bro. I did apologize to him too. This incidence has got my fellow life mates (parents, gf, friends, etc) very worried (As i am a very happy person and have never been physical with anybody til date). They are advising me to quit this job and search for a new one. I love my job, just not the people in it, and timings. I appreciate your understanding.

I actually try to refrain from spreading all my gyan, but I cannot stand misinformation either. So, when I hear my peers discussing misinformation, I cannot help but show them what's right.
Posted via Mobile Device

I know i am late to post over here but thats only coz i want to share something. Since the last six months, i had completely transformed myself. I left everything i liked. Tech, gaming, metal, guitar, etc and became a normal guy. Trust me, its not hard to talk to people. Its very easy coz non-geeks are stupid. I learned how to talk to girls, i made a lot of new friends, hell i even bought a dam blackberry! But now i am regretting wasting the last six months of my life. All i did was roam around with my friends, sit around and waste time. Socialising is highly over-rated. People are selfish. People are horrible, disgusting and mostly stupid. The only good that came out of this whole cherade was that i learned how to talk to and manipulate girls. Otherwise it was time well wasted. Pardon my typos, i am online from my ipad and still havent got the hang of its virtual keyboard

.

^^ Quite an interesting post there. I think this little "experiement" of yours has proved very educational.

I am wondering just one thing. Why did you have to leave "guitar" to become a "normal" guy?

AFAIK, guitar sends even a fat "guy" into the arms of the girls! :lol:

Vyom said:
^^ Quite an interesting post there. I think this little "experiement" of yours has proved very educational.

I am wondering just one thing. Why did you have to leave "guitar" to become a "normal" guy? AFAIK, guitar sends even a fat "guy" into the arms of the girls!

I am a fat guy

. For other people, i was still playing guiatr, i had just stopped practicing it coz i was too busy roaming and wasting time.

The more I look at forum members, the more the number weirdos I see. I was one too until recently. Think about it, most members are one-dimensional. Tech is their life. There is not much else in it.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
PPS: Anyone know a therapist in Pune?

Rainy season is coming, go out for trek with trekking groups. Best thing to do around Pune and best way to socialize.
Even though I am 90% in front of a computer on a normal day, I leave no chance of going out with friends/family. It is always hard for me to decide to go out with someone (I'd rather work\play on my computer). But whenever I do, its a 10 times better experience.

tarey_g said:
Rainy season is coming, go out for trek with trekking groups. Best thing to do around Pune and best way to socialize.
Even though I am 90% in front of a computer on a normal day, I leave no chance of going out with friends/family. It is always hard for me to decide to go out with someone (I'd rather work\play on my computer). But whenever I do, its a 10 times better experience.

Indeed. But, I am not always in the mood. Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort just to get up from the computer (or whatever I am doing). Not that I don't like outings, but I find it hard. Though, I admit that the few experiences that I have had were pretty rewarding. Though, I am still reluctant to go out because I still feel left out if there is a large group. And I find it really hard to break into a group that consists of more than 3 people, especially if it contains atleast one stranger.

Besides, I have been reading a book called "The Introvert Advantage" and I have learnt that being an introvert is a born condition, so there isn't really much I can do about it. Also that extroverts outnumber introverts 3:1, so everyone tends to think that the extrovert way is right since there are so many of them around.

Socializing is overrated. Be happy yourself and keep people around you happy, that's the way it should be.

Krow said:
The more I look at forum members, the more the number weirdos I see. I was one too until recently. Think about it, most members are one-dimensional. Tech is their life. There is not much else in it.

Was?

Apun nahi yakin karta. Just kidding.

Psychosocial said:
I know i am late to post over here but thats only coz i want to share something. Since the last six months, i had completely transformed myself. I left everything i liked. Tech, gaming, metal, guitar, etc and became a normal guy. Trust me, its not hard to talk to people. Its very easy coz non-geeks are stupid. I learned how to talk to girls, i made a lot of new friends, hell i even bought a dam blackberry! But now i am regretting wasting the last six months of my life. All i did was roam around with my friends, sit around and waste time. Socialising is highly over-rated. People are selfish. People are horrible, disgusting and mostly stupid. The only good that came out of this whole cherade was that i learned how to talk to and manipulate girls. Otherwise it was time well wasted. Pardon my typos, i am online from my ipad and still havent got the hang of its virtual keyboard .

I cannot dream of giving up gaming, tech, metal and guitar, cause this is what is a part of me. If I give up metal, I'd go insane because I cannot stand all the pop culture and (c)rap. I understand that most people are stupid (look on FB). Even when I try to socialize, they all mostly talk about how that actor looks, how that actress dances, that actresses figure, etc. Topics I cannot fathom. So, I end up standing there utterly-silent looking like a jackass. They sometimes ask why I am so silent and I don't even have an answer to that. I cannot talk to girls very well either. When I try, my words stumble or my brain goes into deadlock.
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Krow said:
The more I look at forum members, the more the number weirdos I see. I was one too until recently. Think about it, most members are one-dimensional. Tech is their life. There is not much else in it.

I don't think my life is one dimensional. Though I like to concentrate on one thing in my life at a time.
Posted via Mobile Device

Trust me, metal, tech, comics, guitar, gaming, etc is way better than socialising. Since the last three weeks, i just dont feel like talking to anyone. I decline all invitations and i dont reply to most people on chat. I just talk to 3-4 people who i think are fun to hang out with and who i kinda trust.

And coming to girls, i am no expert but i can tell ye that they are nothing but trouble. I study in the most expensive school in the city. As a result, all the girls are mindless, spoilt *****es. They just want all your attention. In the last 3 months, i have had 3 relationships and now i am fed up of girls. All they do is *****, whine and lie. There seems to be nothing else in their lives. Sure, there might be some diamonds in the rough who i actually enjoy talking to but they arent the type that would be in a relationship with a guy like me.

Krow said:
The more I look at forum members, the more the number weirdos I see. I was one too until recently. Think about it, most members are one-dimensional. Tech is their life. There is not much else in it.

Aaaaand the secret is out.

A

I don't know, I've not had particularly serious issues socializing. If anything, the only thing holding me back is my own reluctance. I guess "geeks" (not a term I actually like to use) prefer to play with things they are more familiar with (in this case, tech and computer related stuff).

Some of the stuff discussed here, such as problems holding a conversation, I have faced too, but it has not been an impedance. As far as conversations go, be a good listener, you don't have to talk all that much to be part of a group. When you do get an opportunity to talk, try to be witty and supportive (i.e. encourage people more, discourage less).

Oddly enough my current social group is 75% the opposite sex.

@Psychosocial: At your age both boys and girls have some preconceived notions about each other and girls are a bit more concerned about status and looks, which is why they may behave slightly uptight. I wouldn't worry about it but people are often not quite as bad as they may initially seem, a lot keep a shell outside and there's a different person inside

@Krow, Chennai changed you (in a good way). Apart from the pair of IEMs, you have brought something else from there, I'm sure.

And, you were never an unsocial. In our meets you were always talking and present with prompt answers.
I think you are in the right track to use ur intellect. Journalism.

I socialize like a miami zombie outbreak.

All I want is the confidence to talk and for people to take me seriously. And most of all, recognize my talents.

Faun said:
I socialize like a miami zombie outbreak.

I take it that you are highly extroverted.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
I take it that you are highly extroverted.

lol..

Edit: I've been reading a book "The Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney. This book has prompted me to think of everyone in terms of introversion and extroversion. It states that extroverts outnumber introverts 3:1. Therefore, everyone tends to judge everyone else depending upon the extrovert model or viewpoint of the world. This is what prompts introverts to wonder what's wrong with them.

It further states that introverts and extroverts get a "feel good" feeling by expending energy in different ways. While extroverts tend to expend energy on outdoor activities or socializing, which triggers dopamine in the brain, making them "feel good", introverts find socializing very taxing and tend to retreat. Also, introverts get a "feel good" when they are focused or contemplating deeply on something (among other factors).

Everyone has a varied degree of introversion or extroversion. That depends upon which part of the brain they tend to use:

-Left brained introverts are more calculating and logical, therefore they tend to be indifferent about their introversion and tend to judge things unemotionally and logically. The stereotypical geek image that we all know would be this kind.

-Right brained introverts are more artistically oriented. Those who are more into music, eloquence and art. Right brained introverts are more likely to be conscious about their introversion.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
All I want is the confidence to talk and for people to take me seriously. And most of all, recognize my talents.

Good luck getting along with all that.

And stop reading shitty self improvement books.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
I take it that you are highly extroverted.

to the limit that I start devouring the face of the person in front of me.

Try to socialise. But avoid Artificial Behaviour. Respect the fact that all are not as intelligent as you are and they might be better than you at something else.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
And most of all, recognize my talents.

For that, you'll have to learn to recognise other people's talents too. After all, you're not the only talented one.

sujoyp said:
I think the best advice on this thread is rhitwik's

absolutely true...just try to understand what type of people r around u and talk to them what they understand....If u go on talking about rooting an android and ICS with non-geeks they will certainly avoid u.
What I generally do is randomly change the topic if it doesnt suits my friend .... at least 1 topic will fit in...but then u should at least have some knowledge about everything

i beg to differ :wink:

,the person that makes you the you is you :lol:

you cant fake your personality,may be u can show that youre lets say a funny guy or a talkative person for sometime but in the end youll return to what you were always.honestly speaking,i've tried to be "the guy everybody likes" to get girls in college

and to get more friends,only to find that they liked the creepy guy inside me and im not saying they really liked creeepy guys but may be i was the only one theyve seen and that made me unique.if u think think that youre the one introvert person among those three extroverts get used to live with that and dont try to fake yourself.remember what kurt cobain said"its better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what your are not"

Also life has many ups and downs and may be youre going through a difficult time in your life,i think u should see a therapist coz i also suffered from what you described like anxiety,difficulty in talking to a group,stangers

of people etc b.s

KDroid said:
For that, you'll have to learn to recognise other people's talents too. After all, you're not the only talented one.

I do, still no luck.

Faun said:
And stop reading shitty self improvement books.

That book not shitty. It has detailed explanations about my predicament in biological and psychological terms.

Nanducob said:
Also life has many ups and downs and may be youre going through a difficult time in your life,i think u should see a therapist coz i also suffered from what you described like anxiety,difficulty in talking to a group,stangers of people etc b.s

I am not sure if I need a therapist. Is there something like a test to determine if I do?
Posted via Mobile Device

Krow said:
The more I look at forum members, the more the number weirdos I see. I was one too until recently. Think about it, most members are one-dimensional. Tech is their life. There is not much else in it.

NOt only in this forum, every single person in this world is a weirdo if you look close enough. :wink:

...

I'm an introvert myself and I can't think of anything that would really help.
But I think the main reason for my " weirdness" is lack of people around me who look "interesting" to me :-D

T

@DeSmOnD dAvId , I am also suffering from same kinda' problem. I become friends easily with people who are of my kind or who love the tech stuff, but making friends with girls seems quite a daunting task.

Acceptance is the keyword. At any time, any phase if you can accept yourself, love yourself for the way you are...problem solved.

You would be happy.

Problem arises when we start to think we are not normal, we crave to be common, a part of mass. Actually being in the mass at times gives you the illusion of happiness. But, at the end of the day, you realize you were involved into something which you did not enjoy, did not like too.

If you want to be happy. Accept yourself.
If you just want to mingle with people, FAKE. Everyone does it.

@desmond u can test it urselfs,just be honest with yourself while answering;D Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale Test - SAS
im just guessing,maybe you dont have any problem at all.

rhitwick said:
Acceptance is the keyword. At any time, any phase if you can accept yourself, love yourself for the way you are...problem solved.

You would be happy.

Problem arises when we start to think we are not normal, we crave to be common, a part of mass. Actually being in the mass at times gives you the illusion of happiness. But, at the end of the day, you realize you were involved into something which you did not enjoy, did not like too.

If you want to be happy. Accept yourself.
If you just want to mingle with people, FAKE. Everyone does it.

That's easier said than done. I find it hard in that matter to put up with small talk, though I try my best. I wonder how people are so eloquent about stuff while I fumble with words when I want to express myself. When I am hardly done talking, people will stop listening and carry on talking among themselves, making me feel like a jackass. This fills me with anger and frustration.

Nanducob said:
@desmond u can test it urselfs,just be honest with yourself while answering;D Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale Test - SAS
im just guessing,maybe you dont have any problem at all.

Indeed, I think its all in my mind. Cant shake it off though.

The test says that I don't have a social phobia. Looks like a good sign.

Posted via Mobile Device

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
That's easier said than done. I find it hard in that matter to put up with small talk, though I try my best. I wonder how people are so eloquent about stuff while I fumble with words when I want to express myself. When I am hardly done talking, people will stop listening and carry on talking among themselves, making me feel like a jackass. This fills me with anger and frustration.

Posted via Mobile Device

Does this happen with same group of people?
In that case Maybe you should start looking for another group of people/friends to hang out with

rhitwick said:
Acceptance is the keyword. At any time, any phase if you can accept yourself, love yourself for the way you are...problem solved.

You would be happy.

Problem arises when we start to think we are not normal, we crave to be common, a part of mass. Actually being in the mass at times gives you the illusion of happiness. But, at the end of the day, you realize you were involved into something which you did not enjoy, did not like too.

If you want to be happy. Accept yourself.
If you just want to mingle with people, FAKE. Everyone does it.

Good advice. But hard to implement

@Desmonddavid and @R2K,

Yes, its hard to implement. But, it can be done. I've not wrote those things just for the sake of writing. Those are from personal experience.

@DeSmOnD Stop hanging out with those who don't like to indulge you in or ignore you.

Faun said:
@DeSmOnD Stop hanging out with those who don't like to indulge you in or ignore you.

Then that would become almost everybody.

If you're a girl, your social life on Twitter/Facebook is set.

ico said:
If you're a girl, your social life on Twitter/Facebook is set.

wut?

I ain't no girl. Besides, I hardly hang out on FB/Twitter. These are more like a glorified news aggregators for me, where I go, read stuff, then log out. That's it.

I do game a lot though.

@desmond-glad that youve passed the test;Denjoy life

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
Then that would become almost everybody.

Almost every doesn't include everyone. So its better to start with whom talk a little. You will learn the art but it will be slow and steady.

In the meantime invest your time in some good hobbies. Sure to find friends, online or offline doesn't matter much.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
wut?

I ain't no girl. Besides, I hardly hang out on FB/Twitter. These are more like a glorified news aggregators for me, where I go, read stuff, then log out. That's it.

I do game a lot though.

I suggest you to try out Omegle. You'll make many friends over there and love to talk with them!

Trust me.

T

ico said:
I suggest you to try out Omegle. You'll make many friends over there and love to talk with them!

Trust me.

I tried that out quite long ago. Quite boring . In my opinion, socializing in real world is pretty different than the virtual world.

I can't talk to friends who don't talk about Computers etc.Except a few(maybe 4-5) friends whom i dont talk about computers.
The main problem is people who i hardly talk to god knows what to say to them

T

serpent16 said:
I can't talk to friends who don't talk about Computers etc.Except a few(maybe 4-5) friends whom i dont talk about computers.
The main problem is people who i hardly talk to god knows what to say to them

Just go and say 'HI ! Wassup' , and talk to them about their studies, most recent movie released, music and so on. Their is so much to talk about. The real problem comes when talking to a person of opposite sex.

^^ Yup.Exactly
with girls i cant talk at all..All it comes
Me:Hey
Girl:Hey
Me:Sup
she:NM
THEN DONE DEAD!
Before with the same girl(When we were in school)we would talk about studies etc now nothing

T

^^Talk about movies. Girls love movies(most of them).

^Maybe.But they hate geeks

.
I cant understand what to do soo many boys talk

with them

:foreveralone:

T

serpent16 said:
^Maybe.But they hate geeks .
I cant understand what to do soo many boys talk with them
:foreveralone:

You're wrong bro. If girls hated geeks then most of the geeks would remain single throughout their life. That's not true. A girl won't ask you, that would you like talking to me. Its you who need to go and talk to her.
I have just 1-2 friends which are girls. Most of girls bore me a lot by there insensible talks. So I talk only to those who are worth talking to.

PS- Did you have a crush on anyone during your school life ? :wink:

i feel i bore girls

.Well presently im in 12th and all girls in my class are dumb struck ugly girls.None of them are worth talking to

the_conqueror said:
I tried that out quite long ago. Quite boring . In my opinion, socializing in real world is pretty different than the virtual world.

It isn't actually. All depends on your perception imo.

One should have all types of socialising skills and abilities. Otherwise one is not a complete human.

Hey, serpent, change your skool to lovely professional school. That's the only solution.

T

ico said:
It isn't actually. All depends on your perception imo.

Moreover, it connects you to some random person to talk. So it's your luck that to what kinda' person have you been connected. I always got connected to morons, except once. Never tried the Video Chat option on it.

ico said:
One should have all types of socialising skills and abilities. Otherwise one is not a complete human.

I didn't say that it is bad to socialise virtually. I just said its quite different than socialising in real life. And all humans have flaws, if they don't , then they aren't human.

the_conqueror said:
Moreover, it connects you to some random person to talk. So it's your luck that to what kinda' person have you been connected. I always got connected to morons, except once. Never tried the Video Chat option on it.

One should try to adapt himself accordingly and be his own self.

It can be hard at times....but it is possible.

the_conqueror said:
I didn't say that it is bad to socialise virtually. I just said its quite different than socialising in real life. And all humans have flaws, if they don't , then they aren't human.

There is no human who has flaws. "Flaws" are not "flaws". Again like I said, it depends on the perception. Every human is a human and has his own qualities. You should look for them and socialise in that way.

T

ico said:
One should try to adapt himself accordingly and be his own self.

second part of your statement contradicts
the first one. You're saying to 'be his own self' and ' to adapt accordingly'.

Our thoughts are likely to be different. Maybe because of our age. I'm 15 and you're in your 20s.

the_conqueror said:
second part of your statement contradicts
the first one. You're saying to 'be his own self' and ' to adapt accordingly'.

Our thoughts are likely to be different. Maybe because of our age. I'm 15 and you're in your 20s.

It might appear as if I'm talking contradictory stuff at first, but I'm not. It's very easy to understand. Adapt yourself so that you don't "hate" or "dislike" anyone. Be yourself as in just be yourself.

And I'm not in my 20s. Consider me of your own age.

ico said:
Be yourself as in just be yourself.

Easier said then done.
Sometimes you "need" to be fake. Sometimes you have to say what people "wants" to listen, rather then what the "truth" is. Sometimes you have to give politically correct answers. You have to take care if what you are going to say is going to offend someone or not.
Of course, all of this doesn't matter if the subject in question is a "true" friend. You can be as blunt as you want to be in front of them.

But majority of the people are _Not_ your friend. And a lot of them are just mean, selfish people who can back stab you the moment they are given a chance.

Sometimes you have to choose between a social life (where you have to hide your true self) and your own persona (where you are don't have to hide anything). And majority of time the latter choice leads you to seclusion and loneliness...

Source: Personal experience.

the_conqueror said:
kinda offtopic but can't control myself :

That line 'adapting yourself not to dislike anybody' made me remind of a movie dialogue.
"Tum bahut acche ho, I like you" from ajab prem ki gazab kahani

Maybe this is why people don't like to hang out with you. If you're gonna quote something make sure, it's either one of these:

Out of a bestseller novel
Out of a box office hit
Out of an uber awesome game
Something original and witty
Not lame
Not a meme
Not related to Pokemon
Your voice doesn't remind anyone of Justin Beiber

Just saying. Be thyself, thy neighbor will love you.

@Vy0m: Condolences.

Vyom said:
Easier said then done.
Sometimes you "need" to be fake. Sometimes you have to say what people "wants" to listen, rather then what the "truth" is. Sometimes you have to give politically correct answers. You have to take care if what you are going to say is going to offend someone or not.
Of course, all of this doesn't matter if the subject in question is a "true" friend. You can be as blunt as you want to be in front of them. But majority of the people are _Not_ your friend. And a lot of them are just mean, selfish people who can back stab you the moment they are given a chance.

Sometimes you have to choose between a social life (where you have to hide your true self) and your own persona (where you are don't have to hide anything). And majority of time the latter choice leads you to seclusion and loneliness...

Source: Personal experience.

Sorry to say, but you're thinking (wrong) too much. And stuff like "backstab" et cetera doesn't happen in real life. If you'll be "fake" - result will be troubles for your own self.

If majority of people are not your friend, that doesn't mean that you're not their friend and you'll be bad to them. Introspect yourself and be everyone's friend. That is the only way of achieving universal happiness.

Ignore universal happiness. Then the only way to achieve that is personal happiness.

Vyom, r u my alter ego? Have I really gone mad at last?

Vyom said:
Easier said then done.
Sometimes you "need" to be fake. Sometimes you have to say what people "wants" to listen, rather then what the "truth" is. Sometimes you have to give politically correct answers. You have to take care if what you are going to say is going to offend someone or not.
Of course, all of this doesn't matter if the subject in question is a "true" friend. You can be as blunt as you want to be in front of them. But majority of the people are _Not_ your friend. And a lot of them are just mean, selfish people who can back stab you the moment they are given a chance.

Sometimes you have to choose between a social life (where you have to hide your true self) and your own persona (where you are don't have to hide anything). And majority of time the latter choice leads you to seclusion and loneliness...

Source: Personal experience.

*i.imgur.com/UvClQ.jpg

the_conqueror said:
You're wrong. I don't have a habit of cracking lame jokes, i just say what I have in my mind. I agree with ico on his being yourself and adapting yourself idea.
I know very well that who is worth of my friendship and love, those who aren't, i just say them go f*** off, and i'll be saying the same to you.

Boli ek amol hai, jo koi bolai jaani, Hiye taraju tol ke tab mukh bahar aani.

rhitwick said:
Vyom, r u my alter ego? Have I really gone mad at last?

Are the two questions related?

Aside to ico: You are way too confusing (and/or contradicting)! [achieving universal happiness - Ignore universal happiness.]

Anyway, what I can infer from your post is that you should be good to "everyone" be it if they are good to you or not. Well, sorry to say but such Gandhian ideologies don't work anymore.

But believe me, even though I have been following them since ever and no plans to drop it myself, I have learned something in the process of getting betrayal and getting misunderstood. You can just go as far as opening your heart out, love someone* and be honest about your feelings to them. In the end what matters is that they want an honest person or someone "who they can take advantage of (in less cruel words, "to gain something from")".

And I never said living secluded is a bad thing. I actually feel quite good. Being online, talking to someone who shares the same interests and passion like you, is far better than to be with someone who just want to "gain something" from you.

*love, of course in brotherly fashion.

@nbaztec: Well, maybe I am not able to explain myself better. Maybe I am not too good at explaining feelings.
Sorry about that.

Vyom said:
Are the two questions related?

Aside to ico: You are way too confusing (and/or contradicting)! [achieving universal happiness - Ignore universal happiness.]

Anyway, what I can infer from your post is that you should be good to "everyone" be it if they are good to you or not. Well, sorry to say but such Gandhian ideologies don't work anymore.

But believe me, even though I have been following them since ever and no plans to drop it myself, I have learned something in the process of getting betrayal and getting misunderstood. You can just go as far as opening your heart out, love someone* and be honest about your feelings to them. In the end what matters is that they want an honest person or someone "who they can take advantage of (in less cruel words, "to gain something from")".

And I never said living secluded is a bad thing. I actually feel quite good. Being online, talking to someone who shares the same interests and passion like you, is far better than to be with someone who just want to "gain something" from you.

*love, of course in brotherly fashion.

See... you are talking about stuff like "backstabbing" et cetera. This stuff only happens in TV serials and computer games.

"Gaining something from you" - this also happens in TV serials.

I am not contradicting myself at all. I said this - think and work towards of achieving universal happiness. If you can't think of that, then think of achieving your own happiness. Your own happiness will eventually lead to.....

Vyom said:
Are the two questions related?
@nbaztec: Well, maybe I am not able to explain myself better. Maybe I am not too good at explaining feelings.
Sorry about that.

The image is my reply, try to understand it and you shall find peace.

nbaztec said:
The image is my reply, try to understand it and you shall find peace.

It's tough to understand it. Life isn't black or whote or shades of grey. It has colours too.

T

nbaztec said:
*i.imgur.com/UvClQ.jpg

Boli ek amol hai, jo koi bolai jaani, Hiye taraju tol ke tab mukh bahar aani.

I think i got you wrong. Editing my posts. Sorry for the abusive language. I don't really like talking crap but people force me into talking that stuff. I'm too short-tempered.
Ico's posts forced me to think over that whether i've done good by using crap language, obviously not. My apologies for that. And you got that couplet wrong. AFAIK, it is :
Boli ek amol hai, jo koi bolai jaani, lakh taraju tol ke tab mukh bahar aani

ico said:
Introspect yourself and be everyone's friend. That is the only way of achieving universal happiness.
Ignore universal happiness. Then the only way to achieve that is personal happiness.

ico said:
I said this - think and work towards of achieving universal happiness. If you can't think of that, then think of achieving your own happiness. Your own happiness will eventually lead to.....

ico said:
It's tough to understand it. Life isn't black or whote or shades of grey. It has colours too.

Are you reading too much literature recently?

Anyway, sorry ico. Maybe we are poles apart in terms of where we stand right now in our respective lives. So we couldn't possibly understand each other's situation.

All I can do is to wish all the best to you. Cheers to our (=all members) lives. :toast:

Vyom said:
Are you reading too much literature recently?

Anyway, sorry ico. Maybe we are poles apart in terms of where we stand right now in our respective lives. So we couldn't possibly understand each other's situation.

All I can do is to wish all the best to you. Cheers to our (=all members) lives.

The thing is....you're not trying to understand your own situation.

You need to look into yourself properly.

the_conqueror said:
I think i got you wrong. Editing my posts. Sorry for the abusive language. I don't really like talking crap but people force me into talking that stuff. I'm too short-tempered.
Ico's posts forced me to think over that whether i've done good by using crap language, obviously not. My apologies for that.

No one forces you to do anything. You do it out of your own free will. You get it wrong. You are responsible. You fix it.

the_conqueror said:
And you got that couplet wrong. AFAIK, it is :
Boli ek amol hai, jo koi bolai jaani, lakh taraju tol ke tab mukh bahar aani

Could be, read that way back in school. But as far as I can remember, this was it. On second thoughts, it doesn't matter. Kabir's couplets are not meant for just quoting, but to convey the ever-important message.

Advising you on this, keep this "Don't like me so fvck off" up and life will turn out to be an unpleasant experience, my friend.

@Vy0m, Your only problem is you think too much. You attach yourself to everyone emotionally and try to be the best that they deserve. Sometimes they might not reciprocate, other times they will. But you do. There lies your problem. You forget that people are in fact humans. They are capable of showing multiple emotions, sometimes in the blink of an eye. You get "betrayed", "backstabbed", "mistreated", etc. But you take that on yourself and make your life miserable. You might forgive them for behaving that way, bt you can't forgive yourself for the trust you had in them. You need to do that and let it go. And remember: Life isn't just black or white, but million shades of grey.

I tried Omegle before, tried asking a question and observing people talk about it, but I could not figure out what questions to ask.

I've said before and I will say again. I've tried being myself, not helped much.

Additional points : I have some mild temper issues, so I can get a little rude. So, I sometimes avoid expressing myself because I am not sure how the other person would react to what I have to say. I can sometimes get pretty critical about somethings.
Posted via Mobile Device

Rs. 35 lakh for toilet renovation: Routine maintenance, says PlanComm - Hindustan Times

Piyush said:
Rs. 35 lakh for toilet renovation: Routine maintenance, says PlanComm - Hindustan Times

I take it that your social life = toilet renovation. :lol:

Liverpool_fan said:
I take it that your social life = toilet renovation.

that was just too flush off this heavy discussion :mrgreen:

Piyush said:
Rs. 35 lakh for toilet renovation: Routine maintenance, says PlanComm - Hindustan Times

WTF! I told the HT guys not to publish it. Darn it! Imbeciles!

nbaztec said:
@Vy0m, You're only problem is you think too much. You attach yourself to everyone emotionally and try to be the best that they deserve. Sometimes they might not reciprocate, other times they will. But you do. There lies your problem. You forget that people are in fact humans. They are capable of showing multiple emotions, sometimes in the blink of an eye. You get "betrayed", "backstabbed", "mistreated", etc. But you take that on yourself and make your life miserable. You might forgive them for behaving that way, bt you can't forgive yourself for the trust you had in them. You need to do that and let it go. And remember: Life isn't just black or white, but million shades of grey.

Well, you either got lucky or are in fact a good psychologist. But I think you read me correctly.

I do tend to attach myself emotionally to anyone. I just try to be honest and frank. And expect them to give honesty in return. But maybe I am expecting too much.
And I am aware of the shades of gray that people have. Even I do too. And it was the shades only to which I was referring to in my "Sometimes you have to ..." post. But I believe I tend to oscillate towards the two extremes of emotions. For me it's always One or Zero, and nothing else in between.
I am still trying to turn my data type from integer to float. But that's a tough path. But I am trying.

Thanks for understanding and sharing your words of wisdom.

T

Liverpool_fan said:
I take it that your social life = toilet renovation.

LOL !

Vyom said:
Well, you either got lucky or are in fact a good psychologist. But I think you read me correctly.

I do tend to attach myself emotionally to anyone. I just try to be honest and frank. And expect them to give honesty in return. But maybe I am expecting too much.
And I am aware of the shades of gray that people have. Even I do too. And it was the shades only to which I was referring to in my "Sometimes you have to ..." post. But I believe I tend to oscillate towards the two extremes of emotions. For me it's always One or Zero, and nothing else in between.
Thanks for understanding and sharing your words of wisdom.

I can read people correctly most of the time. Repercussion of having been there and done that.

Vyom said:
I am still trying to turn my data type from integer to float.

Say no more. :facepalm:

Piyush said:
that was just too flush off this heavy discussion

I hope I wont see more toilet news in "serious" discussions all over this forum.

nbaztec said:
Maybe this is why people don't like to hang out with you. If you're gonna quote something make sure, it's either one of these:

Out of a bestseller novel

Out of a box office hit

Out of an uber awesome game

Something original and witty

Not lame

Not a meme

Not related to Pokemon

Your voice doesn't remind anyone of Justin Beiber

Just saying. Be thyself, thy neighbor will love you.

@Vy0m: Condolences.

bayyyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeee oooooooooa wooooooooooooeawwwwww aaaaaa

You don't realize how popular beiber is.

ico said:
Sorry to say, but you're thinking (wrong) too much. And stuff like "backstab" et cetera doesn't happen in real life. If you'll be "fake" - result will be troubles for your own self.

If majority of people are not your friend, that doesn't mean that you're not their friend and you'll be bad to them. Introspect yourself and be everyone's friend. That is the only way of achieving universal happiness.

Ignore universal happiness. Then the only way to achieve that is personal happiness.

Agree with that. Try to be frank about things that can actually affect you in near future.

Listening quietly to a girl saying that increasing iso sensitivity makes that bokeh effect will not actually be detrimental to you. But if someone is two faced liar then better handle him so that he won't be a problem afterwards.

And keep 1 or 2 good friends with whom you can talk more personal things, more than that will likely put you in a bad situation later.

And if you are still not happy then change something.

Another important point which I seem to follow is never interfere into other people's problems (but do help when called in for by any good person) and set no expectations from others (emotional attachment as someone said about). Sure to keep you content.

lastly....cool :lol:

@vyom
You need to watch Peppermint Candy.

Faun said:
bayyyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeee oooooooooa wooooooooooooeawwwwww aaaaaa
You don't realize how popular beiber is.

As popular as anal probes.

nbaztec said:
As popular as anal probes.

Nice line to socialize with others :lol:

Analytically assertive.

@vyom
you have written so much in earlier post.

Everyone out there will talk to you either if he is in some need or he is truly in love with you (happens rarely twice, thrice in a lifetime). You got to make a mutually beneficial ecosystem. Prioritize those from whom you can gain something too. Simply put, life is kind of business.

Faun said:
Nice line to socialize with others

Analytically assertive.

Witty, nbaztec like.

Faun said:
@vyom
You need to watch Peppermint Candy.

Thanks for the recommendation. Looking .... "cool"!

Vyom said:
Thanks for the recommendation. Looking .... "cool"!

...and The Beaver.

nbaztec said:
Witty, nbaztec like.

welcome to facepunch, where every post is a riposte :lol:

I have read all your posts, but none seem to help. I am just a little short of giving up.
Posted via Mobile Device

A

@Vyom and ico: Both of you are opposite sides of the spectrum. All of us need to find the balance. In today's world, subterfuge is necessary sometimes.

No need to be fake, but there's no reason to expose the truth to everyone either. Strike a balance, know when and how to act. Truth always comes out in the end, but the outcome of this depends on how you have been handling the situation.

I have similar experiences as Vyom, but always a good one also came along. What I can tell you is that the greatest things and the most unselfish and honest people are found where you generally don't look....

Be true to yourself: this advice matters.

@serpent16: Girls don't hate geeks, don't think that way. The thing is that a conversation must bring satisfaction to both parties. If you're talking about something the other person doesn't understand then they get nothing out of it.

If you don't want to talk about movies etc. you can just discuss life in general - things like what you did during a holiday, places you've been to, things you've seen, etc. Those are fairly decent ways to start a conversation.

Please don't denounce the opposite sex by calling girls "ugly" or saying they have "insensible talks". There are reasons for everything and nobody is ugly. What you call ugly may be very hot to someone else, see?

As for talks making no sense, please note that people have issues and women are much more emotionally involved in them than men (this is a generalization of course). It may not make a lot of sense to you but it does to them. If you really want to be a friend (or something else if your mind is inclined that way), you should make a concerted effort to at least try and understand what's going on, and to understand that there's a lot going on in people's minds.

I'm going on record and saying it here that once upon a time I thought as some of you do and had similar difficulties socializing. But when I understood that all are human beings, all have emotions, things they love, things they hate, feelings, etc. and started to respect them for what they were, all of that changed.

As far as talking to girls go, you have to realize you can't just go about it the same way as you talk to guys. Many girls are a little bit apprehensive about talking to boys and if you don't behave gently a lot of them are just doubtful of whether you can really be a friend (again, generalizations but things I have observed).

AcceleratorX said:
@Vyom and ico: Both of you are opposite sides of the spectrum. All of us need to find the balance. In today's world, subterfuge is necessary sometimes.

No need to be fake, but there's no reason to expose the truth to everyone either. Strike a balance, know when and how to act. Truth always comes out in the end, but the outcome of this depends on how you have been handling the situation.

I have similar experiences as Vyom, but always a good one also came along. What I can tell you is that the greatest things and the most unselfish and honest people are found where you generally don't look....

Be true to yourself: this advice matters.

@serpent16: Girls don't hate geeks, don't think that way. The thing is that a conversation must bring satisfaction to both parties. If you're talking about something the other person doesn't understand then they get nothing out of it.

If you don't want to talk about movies etc. you can just discuss life in general - things like what you did during a holiday, places you've been to, things you've seen, etc. Those are fairly decent ways to start a conversation.

This.

ico said:
Sorry to say, but you're thinking (wrong) too much. And stuff like "backstab" et cetera doesn't happen in real life. If you'll be "fake" - result will be troubles for your own self.

If majority of people are not your friend, that doesn't mean that you're not their friend and you'll be bad to them. Introspect yourself and be everyone's friend.

Everyone, or every stranger, is a potential friend.

Socialize with chelsea fans.

They are the bestest.

^ You forgot to close the tags. Here, lemme do it for you:

</sarcasm></arsehumour></woeisme>

Done. :lol:

GhorMaanas said:
Everyone, or every stranger, is a potential friend.

Blind trust is deadly my friend. Maybe in the ye old days when people were simpler and more friendly.

City folks are just too busy, serving as mute spectators, hooligans seek opportunities for wreaking havoc and criminals roam about in disguise vying for their next prey.

Kl@w-24 said:
^ You forgot to close the tags. Here, lemme do it for you:

</sarcasm></arsehumour></woeisme>

Done.

What,it was a genuine post.

nbaztec said:
Blind trust is deadly my friend. Maybe in the ye old days when people were simpler and more friendly.

City folks are just too busy, serving as mute spectators, hooligans seek opportunities for wreaking havoc and criminals roam about in disguise vying for their next prey.

true. albeit our social demeanour shouldn't be hostile in the present context, but yes, when you are out in the big bad world, a preventive yet non-sombre approach is good.

axes2t2 said:
What,it was a genuine post.

I take that it's your transfer request? :lol:

Phew! That was close.
I had started to think that this thread was loosing all it's "Chit-Chat" appeal.

But now it's back!

So once again, the day is saved, thanks to the powerpuff....err piyush, Liverpool_fan and axes2t2.

Liverpool_fan said:
I take that it's your transfer request?

And peeple,

Don't try to please everyone and say NO.

nbaztec said:
So once again, the day is saved, thanks to the powerpuff....err piyush, Liverpool_fan and axes2t2.

yessssssssss
Im the buttercup

Piyush said:
yessssssssss
Im the buttercup

You mean this?

*i.imgur.com/VaE3X.jpg

Sometimes in crowded places when you are walking and someone comes walking towards you and both try to move away but end up walking into eachother

If you see someone walking towards you,avoid eye contact (unless its a friend or a girl) ,just look straight and walk with confidence.The others will move away.

^^bump........

axes2t2 said:
Sometimes in crowded places when you are walking and someone comes walking towards you and both try to move away but end up walking into eachother

If you see someone walking towards you,avoid eye contact (unless its a friend or a girl) ,just look straight and walk with confidence.The others will move away.

whats the point?

axes2t2 said:
Sometimes in crowded places when you are walking and someone comes walking towards you and both try to move away but end up walking into eachother

If you see someone walking towards you,avoid eye contact (unless its a friend or a girl) ,just look straight and walk with confidence.The others will move away.

who wants to make eye contact?there are better things to look for if you know what i mean.

axes2t2 said:
Sometimes in crowded places when you are walking and someone comes walking towards you and both try to move away but end up walking into eachother

If you see someone walking towards you,avoid eye contact (unless its a friend or a girl) ,just look straight and walk with confidence.The others will move away.

Cattyboy.

T

Nanducob said:
who wants to make eye contact?there are better things to look for if you know what i mean.

What do you mean ?

axes2t2 said:
Sometimes in crowded places when you are walking and someone comes walking towards you and both try to move away but end up walking into eachother

If you see someone walking towards you,avoid eye contact (unless its a friend or a girl) ,just look straight and walk with confidence.The others will move away.

Yeah not everyone like cat eyes.

the_conqueror said:
What do you mean ?

grow up,dood ;D hehehe

Liverpool_fan said:
Yeah not everyone like cat eyes.

lol...i smell furry joke.

T

Nanducob said:
grow up,dood ;D hehehe

You clean up your brain dude. I don't think everyone has that filth in their brain.

I meant hair,nw u clean up ur brain

Vyom said:
Easier said then done.
Sometimes you "need" to be fake. Sometimes you have to say what people "wants" to listen, rather then what the "truth" is. Sometimes you have to give politically correct answers. You have to take care if what you are going to say is going to offend someone or not.
Of course, all of this doesn't matter if the subject in question is a "true" friend. You can be as blunt as you want to be in front of them. But majority of the people are _Not_ your friend. And a lot of them are just mean, selfish people who can back stab you the moment they are given a chance.

Sometimes you have to choose between a social life (where you have to hide your true self) and your own persona (where you are don't have to hide anything). And majority of time the latter choice leads you to seclusion and loneliness...

Source: Personal experience.

I'm not sure if I understand what you are saying. But whats with the word " back stab". You can't expect everyone to always support you actions and emotions. People reacts depending on their current situation and mindset. Their might be a lot of stuff going through their minds and that might be making them act like that with you..

and yea, everyone needs to learn to take somethings as joke.

Helps you a lot.

Somethings can be easily laughed off, but humans choose to make a mess of it.

T

ico said:
and yea, everyone needs to learn to take somethings as joke.

Helps you a lot.

Somethings can be easily laughed off, but humans choose to make a mess of it.

I told you before na ! All humans are flawed (in different aspects obviously), they make many mistakes, some minor and some major. If they are perfect, then they surely deserve a place better than earth.

the_conqueror said:
I told you before na ! All humans are flawed (in different aspects obviously), they make many mistakes, some minor and some major. If they are perfect, then they surely deserve a place better than earth.

There's no excuse for repeating the same mistakes, again and again.

T

Liverpool_fan said:
There's no excuse for repeating the same mistakes, again and again.

Those kinda people regret their mistakes later in their life when it's too late to correct them.

the_conqueror said:
Those kinda people regret their mistakes later in their life when it's too late to correct them.

Otherwise I make them regret after 3 consecutive mistakes.

T

Faun said:
Otherwise I make them regret after 3 consecutive mistakes.

I can't resist more than 2.

Piyush said:
whats the point?

It's a trick to make your walk easier.

Nanducob said:
who wants to make eye contact?there are better things to look for if you know what i mean.

You'll understand when you grow up

Nanducob said:
who wants to make eye contact?there are better things to look for if you know what i mean.

Boy...You need some serious HELP !! :-D

He is asking for help with social life .Not on how to become a perv. :wink:

That was meant to be a joke.and all of a sudden i became the bad guy.

If you ask someone a question and you get a partial answer just give them a calm stare of silence.They will speak out.

axes2t2 said:
If you ask someone a question and you get a partial answer just give them a calm stare of silence.They will speak out.

Scary.

axes2t2 said:
If you ask someone a question and you get a partial answer just give them a calm stare of silence.They will speak out.

Stare ?

I'm pretty sure that will end up with other person asking " Whats wrong with you ?" . They might even consider you as a weirdo. :shock:

R2K said:
Stare ?
I'm pretty sure that will end up with other person asking " Whats wrong with you ?" . They might even consider you as a weirdo.

See thats because they may have become nervous coz you know it and they know it that they are hiding something from you.

Or else you'll have to practice the stare.

If you are at a social gathering/party and you get something to drink,keep it in your left hand.

So that if someone approaches you or vice versa or if someone you know introduces you to a person and they offer a handshake,your hand won't be wet/cold.

Those cold handshakes are bad and if you wipe your hand on your jeans/trousers after someone offers a handshake that is just

I don't know with which hand lefties do a handshake with righties.

You should create a twitter id. @CatAdviser or something.

Naaaah

I've been having a pretty "crash and burn" ride on the social front lately and I think I have found one of the possible reasons for it. Bollywood music.

For some reason, I get absolutely irritated by it for some reason (possibly because of being a metalhead for around 10 years). But, everyone around me is fully, head over heels, into bollywood music and keep discussing it 24x7 (or perhaps start discussing it when I am around just to piss me off, not sure). No matter how much I listen to it, I cannot find ANY artistic talent in it and do not find it appealing. Since, I do not find it appealing, I have 0% info about who sang what and who danced what, nor do I care about such things.

Consequently, I have to be mum because I cannot participate and I usually ghost walk out of the group. Therefore, I have no one to talk to and no one to discuss anything with. I do not know any therapists or psychiatrists around for advice.

Edit : In the right company I am pretty confident and I can talk comfortably, but since my peers are those who are as described above, I have no choice than to attempt fitting in or to stay completely aloof, risking becoming stereotyped as a freak. My failing attempts are disheartening me and I feel frustrated.

Are yaar, why do always jump to meet a psychiatrist.

For bollywood songs...why don't you start with classics? My recommendation would be songs of Kishore Kumar and Rafi; specially the popular ones. If you love music you simply can't deny the melody and lyrics.

Listen, you were not born with hardrock songs as the background music, you made yourself listen to that and fell in love with it. Why not give bollywood music a serious try. And one thing you have to accept that both are different genre of music and they ought to be different.
Try it and next time you listen to bollywood songs read the inlet closely. You are a geek, you are used to reading (I assume)

^its not easy,but try to make new friends,of your type.cant complain about your friends,its what theyve listening since they were born.

R2K said:
Boy...You need some serious HELP !!
He is asking for help with social life .Not on how to become a perv.

''Boy you need some seriOu Help''-
OMG I really need some ''serious help'' !!
OMG You knew i needed some ''serious help'' !!
I dont know,but now i feel like ****ing your ***,
OMG i could really use your ''serious help'' !

R2K said:
Boy...You need some serious HELP !!
He is asking for help with social life .Not on how to become a perv.

''Boy you need some seriOu Help''-
OMG I really need some ''serious help'' !!
OMG You knew i needed some ''serious help'' !!
I dont know,but now i feel like ****ing your ***,
OMG i could really use your ''serious help'' !

rhitwick said:
Are yaar, why do always jump to meet a psychiatrist.

For bollywood songs...why don't you start with classics? My recommendation would be songs of Kishore Kumar and Rafi; specially the popular ones. If you love music you simply can't deny the melody and lyrics.

Listen, you were not born with hardrock songs as the background music, you made yourself listen to that and fell in love with it. Why not give bollywood music a serious try. And one thing you have to accept that both are different genre of music and they ought to be different.
Try it and next time you listen to bollywood songs read the inlet closely. You are a geek, you are used to reading (I assume)

Tried that already, didn't help much. My mind starts wandering whenever I try to listen to it. Actually, I never really dug other types of music till I heard rock and subsequently metal. I also like classical, but no one digs that either.

The psychiatrist is because there are other problems as well.

Nanducob said:
^its not easy,but try to make new friends,of your type.cant complain about your friends,its what theyve listening since they were born.

But I cannot for the same dilemma. I cannot tolerate it.

Nanducob said:
''Boy you need some seriOu Help''-
OMG I really need some ''serious help'' !!
OMG You knew i needed some ''serious help'' !!
I dont know,but now i feel like ****ing your ***,
OMG i could really use your ''serious help'' !!

Dafuq is this?

^nvm

i also felt like you.When my friends gather and talk about regional music/movies etc i feel like i dont belong to that group.But ill just say what i know about it even if i dont know about it and make them talk.i ll be a serious listner to them but i will be smiling inside.You know whats the most disturbing day in my life?
It was the one moment that i had to dance,not alone,but with my friends on a tour.What made it disturbing to me is that im not good@ dancing but the most imp part was that the song was ''Baby'' a song i dont want to hear.Anyhow i managed to dance to that song,the only thing that get me going was the beer(s).so what i did was i didnt took that sesiously and just go on with that moment,take that from one ear out from the nxt directly in to the recycle bin lol...I meant you dont have to take that seriously.
i remember something like this - There was the World cup football,in 2009,i guess,where all the newspaper and whole media was full of football.And There was this hotel/restaurant something like that,which was made for people who hate football.No media or newspaper regarding football will be kept in touch with those people.People will stay there until the game's finished,after the finals,so when they return to their places they dont have a clue about who won the game.
Since we are in India there will always be people who love bollywood,and if you really want to stay away from bollwood go to Norway,Sweden,USA which is not practical.when you backout from what most of the people would normally do(i guess you wont watch the bwood movies too) they may find it strange.And youre not the only one who is different,there are thousands of them who are like you.Go and make friends out of them.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
Edit : In the right company I am pretty confident and I can talk comfortably, but since my peers are those who are as described above, I have no choice than to attempt fitting in or to stay completely aloof, risking becoming stereotyped as a freak. My failing attempts are disheartening me and I feel frustrated.

Find the right company then. Comfort even if little is important.

chuck it guys

Everything in control, is a heaven.

Today I had a pretty shitty party with my friends. After having starters, they all went to dance and I did not go since I believe that dancing is gay. Also, when I thought that I could wait at the table and browse the net, my phone's battery died and I was left there alone with nothing to do. Ruined my mood for the rest of the day. When asked if I had a nice time, I lied that I did (in order not to sound rude) when actually I had none. Since I have to face such a scenario is most parties, it makes me wonder if I should even go to any parties at all. I like hanging out with people (even though I stick out like a sore thumb then) but I cannot stand the dance thing and the shitty club music.

Make this your motto

"When in Rome, do what Romans do"

If you go to a party where there is a remote chance people could dance....people would dance. You could have gone with 'em. You are so rigid with your rules of life that you don't even want to venture out to try the deeds of lesser mortals. Give yourself a chance.

And, if you really do that try to do that in a blank mind.

Like the dancing situation...if you had gone to dance thinking you are doing a favor to your friends, then you should not have gone in the first place. Do things for yourself, try to enjoy while doing so....and thereafter if you don't like....don't do again.

rhitwick said:
Make this your motto

"When in Rome, do what Romans do"

If you go to a party where there is a remote chance people could dance....people would dance. You could have gone with 'em. You are so rigid with your rules of life that you don't even want to venture out to try the deeds of lesser mortals. Give yourself a chance.

And, if you really do that try to do that in a blank mind.

Like the dancing situation...if you had gone to dance thinking you are doing a favor to your friends, then you should not have gone in the first place. Do things for yourself, try to enjoy while doing so....and thereafter if you don't like....don't do again.

Do what romans do...even if you dont like that..howwwww????

Be stupid where being stupid is cool and expected from you.

logout20 said:
Do what romans do...even if you dont like that..howwwww????

Put on a mask. Not literally, though.

Well, I can pretend to like common things like Bollywood and stuff, but how can I pretend when I don't know **** about them?

Be good.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
Well, I can pretend to like common things like Bollywood and stuff, but how can I pretend when I don't know **** about them?

why don't u try sharing your interests with your frnds...if it clicks with even anyone of them... at least you hv a company to talk abt it and not pretend liking things u don't like all the time.

From about a year ago, i felt very depressed and never socialized, not even with friends and not even with relatives, my parents literally had to force me to go into the room and talk to the relatives. Whenever in a group, I always stayed away from my friends, I didn't want them to see me.It was my daily routine.My friends were totally noob cricket fans. But luckily few months ago, I found some friends with similar interests as mine (mainly tech stuff, gaming, movies, music, shopping, TV series etc). My whole life changed, I started going out, mixing with other friends, trying to make some new etc, that some extrovert might do. I have really being enjoying life since then, now I even started talking to my relatives. I talked with them as if they were my friends. Now im eagerly waiting to meet my friends tomorrow and go out and have fun. And try helping others, It really helps a lot. Just think about your existence ( I did) and problem= solved.

I think that you guys just have to find the right company.

nothing to do with the topic (I am someone who likes to make people laugh.and enjoys doing it.) Try making them laugh , theyll become your friends and then show your superiority, dominate them with something you know about, they will be impressed and will do what ever you say. they will become your minions.

abhidev said:
why don't u try sharing your interests with your frnds...if it clicks with even anyone of them... at least you hv a company to talk abt it and not pretend liking things u don't like all the time.

No one likes my topics. And I try not to get too techy with them because someone told me to never let them know that you know more than them. But if I don't let them know that I know more, they might praise someone else and not me. I can only try when people try to talk.

flyingcow said:
From about a year ago, i felt very depressed and never socialized, not even with friends and not even with relatives, my parents literally had to force me to go into the room and talk to the relatives. Whenever in a group, I always stayed away from my friends, I didn't want them to see me.It was my daily routine.My friends were totally noob cricket fans. But luckily few months ago, I found some friends with similar interests as mine (mainly tech stuff, gaming, movies, music, shopping, TV series etc). My whole life changed, I started going out, mixing with other friends, trying to make some new etc, that some extrovert might do. I have really being enjoying life since then, now I even started talking to my relatives. I talked with them as if they were my friends. Now im eagerly waiting to meet my friends tomorrow and go out and have fun. And try helping others, It really helps a lot. Just think about your existence ( I did) and problem= solved.

I think that you guys just have to find the right company.

nothing to do with the topic (I am someone who likes to make people laugh.and enjoys doing it.) Try making them laugh , theyll become your friends and then show your superiority, dominate them with something you know about, they will be impressed and will do what ever you say. they will become your minions.

That is real hard work for me. My sense of humor is, how do you say, quirky. If I try to say something funny, people will say "kya sar kha raha". Then I go back to what I was.

Bro even I faced the same problem. I just don't know how to socialize with people(especially girls) Last week a hot girl in my class was seated in front of me and during the break We started with 'Hi How are you' and that thing but a little later my brain went like 'INITIATING LOCKDOWN' and I even got lost for words

But thankfully they are some geeks in my class who are into gaming and are tech freaks and i get along quite well with them but I still don't know how to talk to girls

Have to confess : Its kinda hard to talk to an unknown girl ( maybe ....cause most of th'm don't like geek talks, and we don't have anything else to talk about....). AAMOF , IDK any girl in Delhi even after 3 years..

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
No one likes my topics. And I try not to get too techy with them because someone told me to never let them know that you know more than them. But if I don't let them know that I know more, they might praise someone else and not me. I can only try when people try to talk.

That is real hard work for me. My sense of humor is, how do you say, quirky. If I try to say something funny, people will say "kya sar kha raha". Then I go back to what I was.

You are not alone , it happens with most of us.
Sometime I think its not because we are too much into these stuffs , but its because we take things way too seriously than even required.Be it the music , tech-sci-fi , movies , etc ,etc.

I can recall moments when I have a crowd of freinds around me , discussing about non-tech stuffs , like Hollywood movies , Western songs , culture , etc.
But after some point when I surpass all of them , flooding with hell lot of information , all they get to do is to keep their mouth shut and then eventually pull out of discussion because they have nothing left to say.

For me its just opposite : If I find someone who knows about these things more than I know , I just let him speak so that I can learn more and more.

@thunder and rishi. Its not only your problem talking to girls even me too. I just can't talk to after sometime

shreymittal said:
@thunder and rishi. Its not only your problem talking to girls even me too. I just can't talk to after sometime

Actually I just don't know where to start. Let alone be "after sometime."

Rishi. said:
Actually I just don't know where to start. Let alone be "after sometime."

I'm shy kind of person and get nervous while talking to girls
Let alone be "after sometime."

So my college started yest(B.COM 1ST year), and none of my friends are in my class,ok I can meet them in lunch break etc but the problem is Most of the people in my class are of the ****** type(worst behaviour people,rowdies etc), I have no Idea how I am gona live 3 years in that class

theserpent said:
So my college started yest(B.COM 1ST year), and none of my friends are in my class,ok I can meet them in lunch break etc but the problem is Most of the people in my class are of the ****** type(worst behaviour people,rowdies etc), I have no Idea how I am gona live 3 years in that class

My type of people \m/

axes2t2 said:
My type of people \m/

Hahaha but still wouldn't be as bad as them

theserpent said:
So my college started yest(B.COM 1ST year), and none of my friends are in my class,ok I can meet them in lunch break etc but the problem is Most of the people in my class are of the ****** type(worst behaviour people,rowdies etc), I have no Idea how I am gona live 3 years in that class

mate,dont be so quick to judge them,i mean its just your first day at college and you never know whom they really are,atfirst.I know getting into a new environment is hard for anybody,but still you have mingle with them because those people are the ones you're going to see for 3 years,straight.Maybe you'll become a Rowdy

because friends can influence you,anyways,enjoy your college days

ps:this thread will never die!

Nanducob said:
mate,dont be so quick to judge them,i mean its just your first day at college and you never know whom they really are,atfirst.I know getting into a new environment is hard for anybody,but still you have mingle with them because those people are the ones you're going to see for 3 years,straight.Maybe you'll become a Rowdy because friends can influence you,anyways,enjoy your college days
ps:this thread will never die!

haha,but I have been seein those people from +2 so I know that

theserpent said:
haha,but I have been seein those people from +2 so I know that

There is a good side for all bad guys..

So, I did some self diagnosis and I suspect that I might have Aspergers, ADHD or both. However, I am not sure, it could also be regular introversion.

I suspect more of Aspergers because of my to have very low EQ and I see everything with cold and hard logic. I also have a degree of misanthropy but I don't think those with Aspergers would be misanthropic.

I believe that going to a therapist would only confirm my suspicions and that I am doomed either way since there is no cure for all these afflictions.

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
So, I did some self diagnosis and I suspect that I might have Aspergers, ADHD or both. However, I am not sure, it could also be regular introversion.

I suspect more of Aspergers because of my to have very low EQ and I see everything with cold and hard logic. I also have a degree of misanthropy but I don't think those with Aspergers would be misanthropic.

I believe that going to a therapist would only confirm my suspicions and that I am doomed either way since there is no cure for all these afflictions.

Introversion maybe ??

Rishi. said:
Introversion maybe ??

I have seen introverts who are pretty well received among people. I am not.

T

theserpent said:
So my college started yest(B.COM 1ST year), and none of my friends are in my class,ok I can meet them in lunch break etc but the problem is Most of the people in my class are of the ****** type(worst behaviour people,rowdies etc), I have no Idea how I am gona live 3 years in that class

first days in college are the most worst. you'll get along , give it some time. your story is like everyone else's

DeSmOnD dAvId said:
I have seen introverts who are pretty well received among people. I am not.

Maybe. But the reality is that without social interaction and contacts , things keep on getting harder and harder unless you are really one of those autistic/socially impaired* personalities, who utilize their solitude and put it to some use by inventing or doing something extra-ordinary.

I don't think I framed it pretty well there , but either way that's how I feel it is.