CAUTION:This is just a joke for light reading (But sadly, this is the unspoken truth!). The real rules are the exact opposite of the guidelines posted below.
The poster recommends people follow the real rules (Link in signature).
<satire>
Guidelines for posting on this forum, and for getting a proper response:- (Otherwise, you'll be ignored like hell!)
1. NEVER use the search feature before posting. Usage of the search feature will result in more bandwidth usage for this forum's servers. Being as crappy as the servers are, that will most probably result in server overload and you will be banned from the forums for all eternity.
Moreover, the search feature will only take its time getting cozy and take a nap and return results which look alien to you.
2. If you find the problem to your solution even before posting, don't stop! Post it anyway! It will earn you post count as post count IS counted in Across the Board section.
3. In spite of the forum rules and guidelines asking you to use proper titles for posts, NEVER use proper titles. Titles which express the exact prolem you've got are very unpleasing to look at. I mean come on! Who'd like to read "Error code 1337x6743872EE at POST in AMI BIOS". Instead of all this, type in titles that are nice to look at. Titles like "!!!!!!Plz!!!! Hlp!!! URGNT!!!!!!!" look waaay too cool and catch more attention. Thus:-
"DevC++ compilation error :<error message here>" - Bad
"Dev C++ won't compile my program! It hates me, boo hoo" - Good
"Plz Hlp Fulkz!! Urgnt hlp reqd." - Smart
"!!!!!!Plz!!!!! Hlp Fulkz!! Urgnt!!!! hlp reqd.!!!!!" -Best (and cool)
Never forget to decorate your title with lots of cool(read: incessant) '!'s and '?'s
4. NEVER get to the point in the first line! The first line should be used to describe your favourite itching spot or your dog's new mental illness which was caused because you stole it's new pair of socks.
5. Post your problem several times all across the board. This may result in you getting warned by any moderator but your original post WILL get noticed!
6. Dig out reeeally old threads and just reply to them with "^^+1" or "I agree". You will be considered the coolest kid in the block! The thread might get locked but your post count will be retained!
7. Never post in the right section! If a mod moves it, it will grab his attnetion and he will reply to it after he moves it.
8. In the news section, just post random comments even if you don't have a damned clue about what is being reported.
9. Post tutorials like "Press Space bar! See? It enters a space! See? Cool, eh?"
10. Post count is everything! Remember that! Whenever you spot a spam post, ALWAYS reply with "*&^&*%##*#(% Spammer!".
</satire>
No offence intended to any human, mole rat, rabbit or dog, fictional or real!
No animals were harmed in the making of this post. (Except the dog who's socks got stolen).
The poster recommends people follow the real rules (Link in signature).
<satire>
Guidelines for posting on this forum, and for getting a proper response:- (Otherwise, you'll be ignored like hell!)
1. NEVER use the search feature before posting. Usage of the search feature will result in more bandwidth usage for this forum's servers. Being as crappy as the servers are, that will most probably result in server overload and you will be banned from the forums for all eternity.
Moreover, the search feature will only take its time getting cozy and take a nap and return results which look alien to you.
2. If you find the problem to your solution even before posting, don't stop! Post it anyway! It will earn you post count as post count IS counted in Across the Board section.
3. In spite of the forum rules and guidelines asking you to use proper titles for posts, NEVER use proper titles. Titles which express the exact prolem you've got are very unpleasing to look at. I mean come on! Who'd like to read "Error code 1337x6743872EE at POST in AMI BIOS". Instead of all this, type in titles that are nice to look at. Titles like "!!!!!!Plz!!!! Hlp!!! URGNT!!!!!!!" look waaay too cool and catch more attention. Thus:-
"DevC++ compilation error :<error message here>" - Bad
"Dev C++ won't compile my program! It hates me, boo hoo" - Good
"Plz Hlp Fulkz!! Urgnt hlp reqd." - Smart
"!!!!!!Plz!!!!! Hlp Fulkz!! Urgnt!!!! hlp reqd.!!!!!" -Best (and cool)
Never forget to decorate your title with lots of cool(read: incessant) '!'s and '?'s
4. NEVER get to the point in the first line! The first line should be used to describe your favourite itching spot or your dog's new mental illness which was caused because you stole it's new pair of socks.
5. Post your problem several times all across the board. This may result in you getting warned by any moderator but your original post WILL get noticed!
6. Dig out reeeally old threads and just reply to them with "^^+1" or "I agree". You will be considered the coolest kid in the block! The thread might get locked but your post count will be retained!
7. Never post in the right section! If a mod moves it, it will grab his attnetion and he will reply to it after he moves it.
8. In the news section, just post random comments even if you don't have a damned clue about what is being reported.
9. Post tutorials like "Press Space bar! See? It enters a space! See? Cool, eh?"
10. Post count is everything! Remember that! Whenever you spot a spam post, ALWAYS reply with "*&^&*%##*#(% Spammer!".
</satire>
No offence intended to any human, mole rat, rabbit or dog, fictional or real!
No animals were harmed in the making of this post. (Except the dog who's socks got stolen).
